Zen and Now

Status report -- March 14, 2015

I am increasingly convinced of the importance of the Zen outlook on the world. However, I must confess that this conviction comes by wandering far off the path -- becoming deeply immersed in "not-Zen".

I have not managed to work zazen into my daily routine for a variety of excuses. It would seem that the lack of this practice is making it easier for me to "forget" the core Zen vantage point from which I need to look out upon the world--my "home base". The chaos resulting from looking after two dogs, one a crazy puppy, is now subsiding and I should be able to work zazen into my routine.

I have found it easy to slip into reverie about my track record of failure and rejection -- combined with despair that, at 68, time is running out to make my life "meaningful".  All this is nonsense from a Zen point of view: the "me" in these stories are creative fiction. My "track record" is an extra layer of fiction: a way of artificially tying together dimly-remembered episodes into some kind of "meaningful" theme. The "meaning" of my life, if any, is to be understood in the context of the "meaning" of the Universe as a whole, which is, in any case, far beyond human comprehension. Zen would have me simply experience being and leave the interpretation to the philosophers. The past a matter of imagination - all regrets and "poor me" thoughts result only in self-inflicted suffering. There is no reason why I should lie awake composing a tragic autobiography.

A similar folly is my growing concern over the future and the current "big picture" -- "world affairs". I have been spending a lot of time reading Chomsky and various other prophets of doom. I created a new blog devoted to analysis of world affairs. While the analysis is interesting and creative, it has also dragged me into an excessive concern for what is, so far, a fantasy of the present and the future. I'm worried about hypothetical suffering of imagined "others" and the dire future awaiting humanity. Buddha would remind me that *all* things pass, including human civilization and even life on the planet.

I need to drastically trim back my instincts to "save the world" (which are perhaps just a hopeless attempt to save the last chapter of my autobiography). My politics need to be motivated solely by compassion and this needs to start with experience of the present moment along with peaceful acceptance of the way things are *now*.